Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Let Me Light Up The Sky
"i will go. Lord send me, i will go."many times i cried those words from my heart in the darkest hours of the night.This is my story.October 30,2008. On this night the Lord set in my heart the kindling of a flame that over the next mounths would grow into a fire that spread through my mind, heart, soul and life.A passion. A purpose. A dream. From the moment I began reading that Compassion magazine to where I am today that passion has grown each and every day. My heart has broken and bleed. For every pierced and unreached soul. Every heart that has witnessed war, famine, sickness and despair. Every eye that has seen a family member marched away at the point of a gun. Every child that's body was whipped into a killing machine. Every person that has experianced the work of the devil. My heart goes out to them. On that snowy October evening I found myself gazing into the eyes of the children whos pictures and small bits of their stories had been printed on the page. I began to wander what the depth, the joy and pain of their story held. As the tears began to run down my cheeks, I heard my Sweet Jesus begin to knock on the door of my heart. He whispered "My child are you ready and willing". The months that have followed October 30 have been a truly incredible journey for me. My heart has moved from passive comfort, to a raging fire that is burning up all that I am and desire and refining me to who God is and what He desires for my life. i am not but i know I AM. This journey has not been easy and painless, my heart has been filled with much fear and doubt, but daily I am reminded of my intense smallness in light of Gods greatness. Realized my ability and all that i am and am not lie in the hands of the One who set the stars on fire, the One who sets the rivers in motion, the One who gives the birds wings to soar, the One and Only God who knows my every thought, who has caught every tear and heard every cry. I have nothing to fear.I hear Gods call to me from Uganda. A tiny country, a country with a huge heart. A heart that has been broken, scared and bruised by war. A country that has known much pain. I pray that someday I will find myself looking up to the sun and stars that shine down on that land. May God find me faithful, ready and true. Until that day I will be here on my knees, thanking God for His blessings and asking for His grace. When that day dawns.......i will go.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Rebecca GraceAnn
dear friend.
dear sister.
you are graduating. you are soon to continue your grandest adventure.
the adventure that HE has prepared and dreamed about for you.
am i ready for you to leave?
no.
i am excited for you, and i dream and desire everyday dear Rebecca, that on your journey into the arms of God, that you will enjoy the beauty that HE is unfolding and creating in you and your life.
for 15 years we have been sisters. we have, yes, been friends. comrades. minatras. girls.
not so great of friends. and at times we have been twins (or thats what some people thought, lol)
even in the frustration. even in the anger, bitterness and tears. even through the years.
in my heart there was love.
love for you my lovely, beautifully, fantastic sister. there was love.
and if you didn't know, if i didn't tell you, there is also forgiveness.
i remember, and shall always remember, your pain and your hardship. even when i didn't show it in the midst of those times. i was there for you.
Rebecca. i shall always be where you are in spirit and in heart.
i shall always be there for you. no matter the miles that separate us.
i shall always and forever love you my sister, till my dying day.
and of that you can be very sure.
i shall miss you so. i shall always look forward expectantly to the day i see you come home again.
for always and forever.
this is a farewell but not a goodbye.
i love you.
-love, em
dear sister.
you are graduating. you are soon to continue your grandest adventure.
the adventure that HE has prepared and dreamed about for you.
am i ready for you to leave?
no.
i am excited for you, and i dream and desire everyday dear Rebecca, that on your journey into the arms of God, that you will enjoy the beauty that HE is unfolding and creating in you and your life.
for 15 years we have been sisters. we have, yes, been friends. comrades. minatras. girls.
not so great of friends. and at times we have been twins (or thats what some people thought, lol)
even in the frustration. even in the anger, bitterness and tears. even through the years.
in my heart there was love.
love for you my lovely, beautifully, fantastic sister. there was love.
and if you didn't know, if i didn't tell you, there is also forgiveness.
i remember, and shall always remember, your pain and your hardship. even when i didn't show it in the midst of those times. i was there for you.
Rebecca. i shall always be where you are in spirit and in heart.
i shall always be there for you. no matter the miles that separate us.
i shall always and forever love you my sister, till my dying day.
and of that you can be very sure.
i shall miss you so. i shall always look forward expectantly to the day i see you come home again.
for always and forever.
this is a farewell but not a goodbye.
i love you.
-love, em
Sunday, April 27, 2008
love
"We read books to know we are not alone" -C.S. Lewis
Do we love to know we are not alone? We are not alone. We are not the only ones loving, and getting hurt by our love. Do we love to know we are not alone? If we never loved. we would never experience the beauty of it, yet we also might not experience the pain of it. God made love for us to enjoy and to experience. But even when the pain of love comes, God grants us the strength we need. This brings my mind to a quote by C.S. Lewis, who experienced the mixed joy and devastating pain of love.
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certianly
be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you
must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.
Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements;
lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
Jack Lewis is a man who has captured my respect and attention. He was a man of deep intellectual thinking, yet he also went on to write some of the most inspiring wonderful children's stories of several generations. He was a man who did not strive to become popular or respected, but through his speeches and books and kindness, he earned himself a very good reputation. You may wander what this man has to do with anything anyways. Well I will tell you. To my discovery I found that this man experienced the immense joy and excruciating pain of love. Joy Davidson Gresham, was an extraordinary woman, who captured the heart of this extraordinary man. Jack experienced such joy and fulfillment in his life, thru this beautiful woman. Several months after marriage, Lewis's "Joy" was seemed to be robbed from him, when due to tragedy, Joy died by cancer. In the weeks and months that followed her death, Jack experienced deep sadness. Yet even as this man walked thru the valley of the shadow of death, he found comfort and joy and yes even love, in his young son Douglas. I believe that if Mr. Lewis was sitting here with me today, he would be sure to tell me that he never for a moment regrets giving his heart and love to his beautiful wife. Even though his love was hurt and broken, it did not die with her. It forever lived on in his heart. He loved. He knew he was not alone. I find myself to be the kinda person who shelters my love, who often finds myself wanting to lock it into that coffin, he never let it get hurt. But then I remember an image in my mind that I shall never........no never....forget. The image of a man. A man walking down a road toward a horizon. A horizon that outlined the image of a crude arrangement of two pieces of wood. A man who is dirty. Who's robe is a mer rag. A walking stick in hand. Lines on his weathered face. Yet there is something very captivating about this man. I so clearly see this man in my mind. His eyes are bright and shining. His words are captivating. He speaks love. He slowly but steadily walks toward the cross. Around him thousands of people mock and scorn him, spit on him. Yet he walks on. Then I see him again. His hands and feet are pierced. His head is bleeding under a twisted crown of thorns. He is hanging from the cross. His body is broken. The weight of the world is pressing down upon him, crushing him. Every sin, upon him is laid. But his eyes still shine with care and love. He still speaks love and hope. He cries out to his father to forgive those who put him upon that cross. He cries out to his father to forgive..........me. That is the love that I see and that I long for. Even when I am hurt and my love for others brings pain. I shall never stop I shall never give up. I shall remember the love that was displayed and so freely given in that image. Even when the pain of love comes, I shall not stop. He did not stop. Nor shall I. Love is crucial to life.
-EmilyElizabeth
Do we love to know we are not alone? We are not alone. We are not the only ones loving, and getting hurt by our love. Do we love to know we are not alone? If we never loved. we would never experience the beauty of it, yet we also might not experience the pain of it. God made love for us to enjoy and to experience. But even when the pain of love comes, God grants us the strength we need. This brings my mind to a quote by C.S. Lewis, who experienced the mixed joy and devastating pain of love.
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certianly
be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you
must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.
Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements;
lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
Jack Lewis is a man who has captured my respect and attention. He was a man of deep intellectual thinking, yet he also went on to write some of the most inspiring wonderful children's stories of several generations. He was a man who did not strive to become popular or respected, but through his speeches and books and kindness, he earned himself a very good reputation. You may wander what this man has to do with anything anyways. Well I will tell you. To my discovery I found that this man experienced the immense joy and excruciating pain of love. Joy Davidson Gresham, was an extraordinary woman, who captured the heart of this extraordinary man. Jack experienced such joy and fulfillment in his life, thru this beautiful woman. Several months after marriage, Lewis's "Joy" was seemed to be robbed from him, when due to tragedy, Joy died by cancer. In the weeks and months that followed her death, Jack experienced deep sadness. Yet even as this man walked thru the valley of the shadow of death, he found comfort and joy and yes even love, in his young son Douglas. I believe that if Mr. Lewis was sitting here with me today, he would be sure to tell me that he never for a moment regrets giving his heart and love to his beautiful wife. Even though his love was hurt and broken, it did not die with her. It forever lived on in his heart. He loved. He knew he was not alone. I find myself to be the kinda person who shelters my love, who often finds myself wanting to lock it into that coffin, he never let it get hurt. But then I remember an image in my mind that I shall never........no never....forget. The image of a man. A man walking down a road toward a horizon. A horizon that outlined the image of a crude arrangement of two pieces of wood. A man who is dirty. Who's robe is a mer rag. A walking stick in hand. Lines on his weathered face. Yet there is something very captivating about this man. I so clearly see this man in my mind. His eyes are bright and shining. His words are captivating. He speaks love. He slowly but steadily walks toward the cross. Around him thousands of people mock and scorn him, spit on him. Yet he walks on. Then I see him again. His hands and feet are pierced. His head is bleeding under a twisted crown of thorns. He is hanging from the cross. His body is broken. The weight of the world is pressing down upon him, crushing him. Every sin, upon him is laid. But his eyes still shine with care and love. He still speaks love and hope. He cries out to his father to forgive those who put him upon that cross. He cries out to his father to forgive..........me. That is the love that I see and that I long for. Even when I am hurt and my love for others brings pain. I shall never stop I shall never give up. I shall remember the love that was displayed and so freely given in that image. Even when the pain of love comes, I shall not stop. He did not stop. Nor shall I. Love is crucial to life.
-EmilyElizabeth
beauty
Often when I write these few and far between posts, I often write of thoughts, quotes, reflections and weather, I promise to my readers, that in the near future I will write of my life and what has occupied my days, but for today I have yet another reflection to offer you. So please enjoy.
Beauty. What is the truest and deepest essence of that word? The simple beauty of a calm lake. the unquenchable delicacy of a wayside flower. The rich loveliness of this sky, ever stretched overhead. The intense depth and character of a human eye. All these things we caption beautiful. Why? Propablly for this simple reason. Beauty is untouchable. Beauty captivates us, and beauty was inspired, made, and is enjoyed by the bearer of the greatest beauty. The greatest beauty was displayed by the heavenly father. The beauty of sacrifice, love, devotion, and the beauty of a promise kept and fulfilled. The uniqueness and grace in everyone of us is a beauty that shines in different shades, textures, and patterns. Some beauty or loveliness is seen more keenly in different things. I find a string of white Christmas lights, a score of music, an old book, or a skein of yarn, all things that posses a matchless amount of beauty and uniqueness, that we always seek to find in the face of a woman or in the petals of a hothouse flower(those things are very beautiful to, but we should look and admire beauty in other places) God created beauty and we can find it in everything that his very fingers were laid upon. These are my simple reflections on the power and essence of beauty. All these things can be said in many other ways and examples. But the very word is powerful to the core. Beauty is deep. Beauty is essential. Beauty is powerful. Beauty is captivating. Beauty will save this world.
~EmilyElizabeth
Beauty. What is the truest and deepest essence of that word? The simple beauty of a calm lake. the unquenchable delicacy of a wayside flower. The rich loveliness of this sky, ever stretched overhead. The intense depth and character of a human eye. All these things we caption beautiful. Why? Propablly for this simple reason. Beauty is untouchable. Beauty captivates us, and beauty was inspired, made, and is enjoyed by the bearer of the greatest beauty. The greatest beauty was displayed by the heavenly father. The beauty of sacrifice, love, devotion, and the beauty of a promise kept and fulfilled. The uniqueness and grace in everyone of us is a beauty that shines in different shades, textures, and patterns. Some beauty or loveliness is seen more keenly in different things. I find a string of white Christmas lights, a score of music, an old book, or a skein of yarn, all things that posses a matchless amount of beauty and uniqueness, that we always seek to find in the face of a woman or in the petals of a hothouse flower(those things are very beautiful to, but we should look and admire beauty in other places) God created beauty and we can find it in everything that his very fingers were laid upon. These are my simple reflections on the power and essence of beauty. All these things can be said in many other ways and examples. But the very word is powerful to the core. Beauty is deep. Beauty is essential. Beauty is powerful. Beauty is captivating. Beauty will save this world.
~EmilyElizabeth
It's All Because Of Jesus, I'm Alive
Giver of every breath I breathe
Author of all eternity
Giver of every perfect thing
To You be the glory
Maker of Heaven and of Earth
No one can comprehend Your worth
King over all the universe
To You be the glory
And I am alive because I'm alive in You
It's all because of Jesus I'm alive
It's all because the blood of Jesus Christ
That covers me and raised this dead man's life
It's all because of Jesus I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive
Giver of every breath I breathe
Author of all eternity
Giver of every perfect thing
To You be the glory
Maker of Heaven and of Earth
No one can comprehend Your worth
King over all the universe
To You be the glory
And I am alive because I'm alive in You
It's all because of Jesus I'm alive
It's all because the blood of Jesus Christ
That covers me and raised this dead man's life
It's all because of Jesus
Every sunrise sings Your praise
The universe cries out Your praise
I'm singing freedom all my days
Now that I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive
These lyrics are from Casting Crowns latest album, The Altar and the Door. This is a beautifully written song, with excellent insights and awesome statements of faith and truth. It's all because of one man that we are alive. Alive = Living, Breathing, Learning, Enjoying, Making mistakes, Laughing, Crying, and Experiancing. It's an astounding thought for me.
Because of Jesus, i'm Alive!
What did we ever do to gain God's favor and his only son's life? There were those individuals who may have given the passing stranger shelter from the rain. Those who may have shared their miniscule lunch, washed his weary feet, or patched his worn robes. There were his best friends and companions. Those that were near to him and he had a reason in which to give his life for. There were also those who kicked and scoffed him at his passing. Those who tormented him at every village. Those who haunted his every steps, waiting to find a reason to condemn this man. Yet with the cross looming on his horizon and many men against him, he lived with walking stick in hand, sandals on his feet, and joy in his heart. When brutally nailed to a crude arrangement of wood, he cried out to his father, not to curse, but forgive those that put him there. With the weight of the world pressing down upon his broken body, he cried out for his father to forgive.........us.
~EmilyElizabeth
Author of all eternity
Giver of every perfect thing
To You be the glory
Maker of Heaven and of Earth
No one can comprehend Your worth
King over all the universe
To You be the glory
And I am alive because I'm alive in You
It's all because of Jesus I'm alive
It's all because the blood of Jesus Christ
That covers me and raised this dead man's life
It's all because of Jesus I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive
Giver of every breath I breathe
Author of all eternity
Giver of every perfect thing
To You be the glory
Maker of Heaven and of Earth
No one can comprehend Your worth
King over all the universe
To You be the glory
And I am alive because I'm alive in You
It's all because of Jesus I'm alive
It's all because the blood of Jesus Christ
That covers me and raised this dead man's life
It's all because of Jesus
Every sunrise sings Your praise
The universe cries out Your praise
I'm singing freedom all my days
Now that I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive
These lyrics are from Casting Crowns latest album, The Altar and the Door. This is a beautifully written song, with excellent insights and awesome statements of faith and truth. It's all because of one man that we are alive. Alive = Living, Breathing, Learning, Enjoying, Making mistakes, Laughing, Crying, and Experiancing. It's an astounding thought for me.
Because of Jesus, i'm Alive!
What did we ever do to gain God's favor and his only son's life? There were those individuals who may have given the passing stranger shelter from the rain. Those who may have shared their miniscule lunch, washed his weary feet, or patched his worn robes. There were his best friends and companions. Those that were near to him and he had a reason in which to give his life for. There were also those who kicked and scoffed him at his passing. Those who tormented him at every village. Those who haunted his every steps, waiting to find a reason to condemn this man. Yet with the cross looming on his horizon and many men against him, he lived with walking stick in hand, sandals on his feet, and joy in his heart. When brutally nailed to a crude arrangement of wood, he cried out to his father, not to curse, but forgive those that put him there. With the weight of the world pressing down upon his broken body, he cried out for his father to forgive.........us.
~EmilyElizabeth
Introduction
This is a blog for your enjoyment and a blog for my reflection. A place where I can let my thoughts, ideas, and dreams run wild. I long to embrace the adventure. The adventure that God has scripted for me. I am his broken vessel. Broken vessel, in the sense that i'm broken and running over with God's goodness, forgivness, love, compassion, and beauty. Thru my brokeness and humility, God is given the glory. This is what I desire. I am a proud fallen human. As we all are. But I still find the ability and calling to embrace the adventure and take up my cross and follow him along the horizon. Into every sunset and every sunrise I will follow him. Stumbling and falling many times I will follow him. Each time I stumble and fall, I yet again see the nail scarred, gentle, dirty, beautiful hands, reaching to guide and steady me. Lord. I am your broken vessel. Use me in the way that will bring you the most glory. Humble me. Break me.
-your daughter, EmilyElizabeth
-your daughter, EmilyElizabeth
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